Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my brother's death. Although it has been a long year with many changes and challenges, it seems like it was not that long ago. We spent the day with my parents and those siblings, nieces, and nephews who were able to make it, as well as some good friends who have also lost loved ones recently. It was a good day, and I'm glad we could be there together.
Those that have been around my family for a while know that we have some rather different traditions. Some people might think they are strange but I enjoy them. My parents have some good friends who are Native American and they have learned several traditions from them which they have adopted for our family, even though we don't have any Native American lineage. They have a traditional ceremony each time there is a change in a family, when there is an upcoming birth, a wedding, also when there is a death. It is meant to bring people together in support of the people going through that change, to offer their prayers and good wishes and wisdom, and to share. The ceremony is called a blessing way. We did a simple blessing way for our family and for the changes my brother's death has brought. We knelt around his grave and offered a family prayer, and sang some songs and hymns together that comfort us and remind us of him (those who know us well also know that singing together is another favorite family tradition). Those who wanted to shared memories or thoughts of what he might be doing now, how he has affected us, etc. We made 'prayer arrows' which are sticks with yarn wrapped around them and feathers attached. You say a prayer in your heart for someone, yourself, the one who passed on, your family, or others who need prayers, each time you wrap the yarn. You can also decorate them with feathers. The kids especially enjoyed doing the arrows. Afterward we had a good meal together, which is another nice family tradition. :)
Even though this get together made me emotional, which I usually try to avoid (for whatever silly reason), I think it is healthy to take time to remember on purpose, to comfort eachother and bear eachothers burdens. It is nice to also remember the things we have learned from trials and the blessing of the plan of salvation and the knowledge that we will all be able to be together again someday.
Those that have been around my family for a while know that we have some rather different traditions. Some people might think they are strange but I enjoy them. My parents have some good friends who are Native American and they have learned several traditions from them which they have adopted for our family, even though we don't have any Native American lineage. They have a traditional ceremony each time there is a change in a family, when there is an upcoming birth, a wedding, also when there is a death. It is meant to bring people together in support of the people going through that change, to offer their prayers and good wishes and wisdom, and to share. The ceremony is called a blessing way. We did a simple blessing way for our family and for the changes my brother's death has brought. We knelt around his grave and offered a family prayer, and sang some songs and hymns together that comfort us and remind us of him (those who know us well also know that singing together is another favorite family tradition). Those who wanted to shared memories or thoughts of what he might be doing now, how he has affected us, etc. We made 'prayer arrows' which are sticks with yarn wrapped around them and feathers attached. You say a prayer in your heart for someone, yourself, the one who passed on, your family, or others who need prayers, each time you wrap the yarn. You can also decorate them with feathers. The kids especially enjoyed doing the arrows. Afterward we had a good meal together, which is another nice family tradition. :)
Even though this get together made me emotional, which I usually try to avoid (for whatever silly reason), I think it is healthy to take time to remember on purpose, to comfort eachother and bear eachothers burdens. It is nice to also remember the things we have learned from trials and the blessing of the plan of salvation and the knowledge that we will all be able to be together again someday.
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